Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Only Constant Thing In This World Is Change

I hope you have heard that wise line I use as the title of this post before. The first time I heard that line was in my IT marketing lecture when one of the Tan (there were 3 lecturers, all with the surname Tan) said that line. I remember feeling quite enlightened with how profound that line is.

This week brought me a very big change that I'm pretty sure gonna affect my life and my future. How big the changes for me will be, I am not sure yet because I am still very cautious about everything and I'm adopting a "wait and see" attitude. What happened was the Bapak, Ibu, and the Dr left us. Shocking indeed but everything must come to an end I suppose. I really didn't expect for them to leave us. I've kinda always dreamed of the day that I would leave them. Alas, it didn't come true. I didn't really know how I felt when I heard the news on Wednesday. Maybe I haven't internalized everything and I'm not sure I have digested everything even now. However these last few days did bring with it the bitter sweet of all the years that I spent with them, which is 5 years by the way! How long is that! I personally kinda had more memories with the Ibu and the Dr. The Ibu, being the tough her, had somewhat shaped me or to be more poetic, elevated me to where I am right now. In her goodbye message, one of the line she wrote was that I was absolutely trustworthy and effective, which really touched me. It mirrored what I wrote for her, which was I am thankful for all the trust and opportunity she had given me. Change is gonna happen that's for sure. But as I said, I am approaching everything with caution. Let's say, I am not in Obama land just yet, as some people are.

I kinda found the whole thing to be somewhat funny in a only-God-can-make-it-happen kinda way. People around me had screamed for me to make changes in this part of my life which obviously I haven't done and yet a change was brought into me. Like a wave in the ocean that toss things to the beach, this is somewhat what I feel, being carried by the wave. I'm nervous but I would like to believe that God has a reason for everything and of course I am repeating that line of, If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. Anyway, I feel even if the so called worst thing should happen, it would perhaps be the best thing that happen to me. So at this point in time, I'm trying to keep my mind relaxed and have my mental pond still, though people around me, especially the one in Obama land may move so much to cause ripple in my pond :P

If you are wondering what I mean with Obama land, it's this land where people chant, "yes we can!", "change is gonna come", and all those other lines from Obama's presidential campaign, which is actually not a bad thing, really. I mean, I have an Obama wobble head so that means I do like and admire him. However I feel a little Simon Cowell is really needed. Some people just need to be brought down to Earth to see things more clearly and in perspective. Alright, I should really stop talking about this stuff.

So today was quite a good day spent. I've collected the Cats tickets, which I'm gonna watch with la Gioia and Lois. Then used my birthday treat voucher from GV to get 2 tickets for the price of 1 in GV Vivocity. I have to say, GV Vivocity has been pretty kind to me. One time I managed to collect tickets that Vivy booked without Vivy or her credit card. Only with the confirmation number, the boy at the counter trusted me enough to get his manager to key in some password to allow me to collect the tickets. Today, I was allowed to use the birthday treat even though I didn't have my GV card, which I lost. The term and condition said I should present the card. The boy at the counter actually spent some time reading the terms and condition when I gave him the print out. When he heard that I lost my card, he asked his manager who without hesitation said, "can, can!". Then the manager asked him to give me a new card and they didn't charge me the 5 bucks replacement fee!!! I guess they were really busy that they all forgot about this and so I left happily and a bit nervously :P I did pray that they would continue to be busy so that they totally forget about this, which they were. I hope me writing it here doesn't jinx me. So anyway, I just feel really lucky and happy to have my GV card back :D

Today I watched Confessions of a Shopaholic with Vivy. I like it very much because I found that it's really entertaining and also it's nice to see the handsome guy in British accent. Love him! A chick flick really need a handsome guy and he did good :P I thought Isla Fisher who played the main character Rebecca was really adorable and cute. This movie made me feel thankful that I have no financial debt in my life and thankful that I'm not impulsive in buying stuff. You know, it's been more than 3 weeks since I last watched a movie. I actually kinda can get away from the movies, can't I? Take care peeps!

:) eKa @ 7:19:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, March 14, 2009

3³

So today is the day Eka turns 3 to the power of 3. How was it today? Well, not bad actually. I have to say that it was quite a low key affair this year but I am not complaining much about it. Making a big deal out of birthday still doesn't feel like me. I actually tried not think so much about this change in number. In fact, I haven't made the time to talk to God, having dozed off in my bed while watching TV last night. Perhaps I am really losing interest and desire in life that even to make a wish doesn't excite me. I guess when I put my thoughts in making a wish, I will just be reminded and consumed with all the failures in my life hence why I am not all glee about it. Ain't I a depressing soul? :D

I did somehow didn't feel like spending today alone and good soul Ms. J yesterday asked me if I wanted to meet up with her. We did and she also kindly accompanied me to the Body Shop sale, where I spent S$71.40 on 3 bottles of fragrance, 1 bottle of body lotion, 1 bottle of hydrating body spray, and a tub of body scrub. Being the curious me, I calculated just how much all the things cost without the sale and I am happy to announce I saved 61 dollar! Good bargain! Definitely a sale worth going again. Seriously, seeing all the stuffs, you just want to grab everything! I think I have quite a good self-control? Or not ... whatever! I just feel happy that I saved quite an amount of money :P

I should state that Suntec is too darn crowded with the IT show. It kinda brought out the "dislike of people" feeling in me. Ms. J made a good suggestion to eat in Marina Square where we met Ms. Flying Nun as well. I really don't get to see these people often. Kinda good to catch up on things though same old same old can only be told about me. Ms. J said I really need to get out to purify myself of a certain poison (she did use the word 'poison') :P She's right of course since I've been told similar thing by Rista as well. Oh well.

I thought this post would also be filled with a certain disappointment that I have this week. However I found myself not caring that much anymore. I'm not saying that I'm not angry anymore ('cause I always and forever hold grudges) but I guess I have seen reasons for why things happened and I can see somewhat the so called fairness in it. So for now, nothing much to say. Mommy just told me that tomorrow is my Chinese Birthday, so to the temple I must go. Take care my dearest!

:) eKa @ 6:39:00 PM • 0 comments

Saturday, March 07, 2009

How can you be loved when you're not there?

I do write a lot but I don't think I am that terrific with words. I mean sometime when I read Vivy's poem or her long thoughtful writings in her blog, I do find her talent of prose to be rather enviable. Sometime though, sometime, I thought I managed to come out with sentences or phrases which I thought (I being the operative word here) to be quite brilliant. In fact, of all the posts I have written all this time, only 1 line managed to capture someone else's attention, which was of Starfish. One time he told me, he loved my line of I miss them when I was with them 'cause then I knew what I miss. I have to say that I felt pretty flattered when he said he liked that line.

But anyway, the title is one of those line which I thought was quite smart of me to come out with. It was like an epiphany when I said that. How it happened was I was talking to this guy and being the interrogative me, I asked him how his days were and such and came that line above, which by reading it that way, you wouldn't be able to understand what it means. So to put it in context, it was something like this, How can you be loved when you're not (even) there (to be loved)?. Sadly though, after putting that in my msn nick, I wonder if that's not the case with me actually. I'm not at home, so I don't think I can be loved that deeply with people I know at home simply because I haven't spent much time there, to experience the ups and downs, the lows, and silly things *sigh* I don't want to open this chamber of thoughts that I have about this now. It's gonna be too depressing and I would just like a peaceful Saturday night *sigh*

So today, there's no movie. I did go out though. Went to Orchard to get presents for the March, April, and May babies. I got presents for 5 people and that cost me S$85. So that's kinda sad, but at least I got it done and now I can just send them to their respective countries. I haven't been in Orchard for the longest time. I used to go there almost every Saturday when I still had Italian class, which by the way I miss dearly. So it's kinda nice to be back there and experience my usual routine. I also went to Borders which I haven't gone for even longer time. Again, I was tempted to get the illustrated version of The Prophet by Kahlil Gibran and again I was too stingy to get it :( Today had its worse time though! So I was scouting for presents for my friends and I went to The Better Toy Shop in Taka and I saw R. OH MIO DIO!!! The moment I saw him talking to the cashier, I quickly got out of the store, and like that wasn't enough, I actually went down to a different level! My panic instinct just told me to go run for cover and I'm glad that I did that. Man! I tried to think if there's anyone that I would run away from like that, I actually thought I didn't have anyone but actually I do :P

Well, nothing much to say kids. Well at least nothing much that I can share freely with you. I wanna write though. I really wish I still have teachers to correct my grammar :(

É stata davvero inattesa ma lui è lui. Lui fa sempre come vuole. Per lei, lei sa che non può dire "no" a lui. Le piace troppo. Ha cominciato con un pò chiacchierata ma non è stato abbastanza per loro. Così hanno camminato più e hanno parlato più, nonostante fosse stato un pò sciocco perchè la fermata l'autobus è stata molto vicino a loro. Chissa? Forse perchè non hanno parlato per un lungo tempo? Vorrei pensare perchè segretamente gli manca e le manca. Comunque, hanno deciso avere una cena insieme. Hanno portato l'autobus e sono seduti molto vicino. É stato lui che ha messo il corpo vicino a lei, molto vicino. Lei ha pensato questa cosa che lui ha fatto fosse strana. Lei non ha capito lui. Infatti lei non capisce mai lui. Lei deve sempre indovinare il suo sentimento per lei. Ma lì, le è piacuto. Lei ha pensato che le piace il suo braccio, la sua pelle. Hanno parlato di fare l'amore molto durante la cena. É stato divertente, non è stato serio. Con lui è difficile per sapere se lui è serio. Quando hanno voluto tornare a casa, lui ha aspettato fino a l'autobus per lei arrivato nonostante lui fosse stanco. Nonostante lei avesse detto che lui non dovesse aspettare, veramente lei è stata felice che lui è stato lì. Lei ha un grande sentimento per lui. Le piace tantissimo e i momenti come questi danno una problema per lei. Perchè qualche volta, lui è molto dolce, ma un' altra volta lei non è dentro il suo mondo. L'amore è confuso? É davvero triste perchè lei ha proprio un grande sentimento per lui ma per lui, forse lei è una delle ragazze!

:) eKa @ 11:14:00 PM • 0 comments

Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Sometimes life has a better idea.

I'm not having a good day today *sigh* Started off with feeling rather faint this morning that I had to quickly get out of the toilet to lie down on the floor and wait it out. I think it's low blood pressure. Watched an episode of House recently and found out that you really need to lie down when you are feeling faint so that blood can flow to your brain, if not you can actually die. In wikipedia it's written that after the symptoms have passed, sleep is recommended. However I didn't. In fact I went through my day as per normal today which was quite a long day for me. I was feeling rather dizzy, a bit nauseous and so not in the mood to deal with all the "merda" I have today *sigh*

Went to watch Marley & Me with la Gioia and NanSee yesterday. I kinda got excited about this movie because of Oshie who's been telling me that he wanted to watch the movie since months ago(!). He seemed so drawn to the story that he wanted to buy the book as well. I wonder if he has gotten it. Anyway, the movie was really good. The title of the post is actually a line from the movie. I really like it a lot. I heart Owen Wilson, love him, love him! I also quite like all the other actors, especially Alan Arkin who said the line above. However there's no denying that the movie is about the dog, Marley. I've never had a dog and watching the movie, it does seem rather nice to have a dog, but I don't know if I am a dog person and I really wouldn't want a dog as big and crazy as Marley. The movie was really touching that I teared at some parts. In fact many people in the cinema sobbed. When Marley died, everyone was feeling sad. I think it was really a beautifully crafted story.

Next week is my birthday. Obviously it's such a dreadful thing but I have to say I have been thinking about it. Thinking about what I want to do on my birthday is rather odd because I've never liked making a big deal out of it. If I were in Jakarta, I may celebrate it early and give myself a treat by watching Java Jazz this weekend. Though it seems that the line up of last year was better. Anyway, it's just a wish, because I doubt it would come true even if I were in Jakarta since none of my friends find it interesting.

Anyway, about my birthday. The only comfort I can think of is that I am turning 27. No more 26. I like odd number more than even number and I'm glad that it's gonna be over soon. Yes, it does sound so strange and unlike me to be excited about getting older. 27 is kinda a nice number, it's 3³ and 2 + 7 is 9 whose factor is also 3, so the number 27 is kinda cool. I guess, I don't know. As usual I'm hoping for better things coming my way. Per favore Dio?

:) eKa @ 9:05:00 PM • 0 comments